Surrender - in a breath
»Train yourself to let go - of everything you fear to loose.«
Today I believe I understood the essence of breathing. When I realized this I simply had to laugh. Although I had practiced yoga for 24 years, somehow I never really did it. 24 years for a 5 Minute lesson. My breathing exercises were like the Reiki we call unconsciously given. I was hunting for the perfect cycle 4-16-8-8, which stands for in-hold-out-hold in seconds. I improved to 5-20-10-10 and soon after to 6-24-12-12. From there, there was no move in time extension and - as you might already guess - in joy, and over all these years the benefits I gained from this »trying« were rather limited.
A few months ago I heard the yogis would have a saying »Perfect Breath - Perfect Health« and my mind got busy in the background. Where lies the essence of this perfect breath? Is it really in this rhythm or in who can hold longest?
This breath indeed is the breath of life! When I breathe in I let the whole divine energy and existence enter and fill my self, my body, my mind. This breath connects my body with my higher self. The deeper and more complete I am breathing in - the closer I come to my true spiritual nature. Fully assimilating this breathing in is to approach my own divine nature. It is that breath that connects the apparent with the unknown. When I am able to fully unite and digest this gift then I become ready to let it go. This let go is surrender; it is absolutely necessary and has to be complete. I have no right to keep what I was granted as a borrowed good. Everything on earth follows the sacred »law of return« for which gravitation can be considered a minor sample case. When I breathe out I surrender to this law. I enter the world and I let my self be absorbed by this whole divine manifestation. The deeper and more complete I can let flow these cycles the more I am one with the universe and myself.
It is my opinion that this full surrender requires an intuitive action and understanding that has to take place first. And this is the complete absorption.
Doing my exercise with this focus I instantly felt joy in my breathing. I became energized, unexpectedly in this clarity. A small pain in my left hip joint disappeared, which had bothered me for a few months. I suddenly felt dizzy because there was this unusual freshness. Soon after I met a very charming girl and this awoke feelings of love inside me to a level I had never known. To say in other words: my being extended and harmonized with the full breaths.
With this discovery my breathing cycles became not only deeper but also longer than ever before. Now I can see it. I was hunting for a goal that could not be reached. This goal is not a goal but an effect of not trying, an effect preceded by proud absorption and devoting surrender. I am not on earth just to surrender. But surrender is a natural part of it.
The physiological explanation of the yogic statement above is, that the bodymind is scanning the existence from the lowest frequency (bones) to the highest (chakras). Maintaining health requires the awareness of what happens. How could a person with shallow breath cycles possibly be healthy and use their full potential?
My breath is my continuous witness of how much I am ready to absorb and surrender, of how much divinity I put into my actions. It is not the multi-tasking that creates this consciousness but the opposite. In the Far East they say:
- I play when I play.
- I sleep when I sleep.
- I eat when I eat.
- I breathe when I breathe.
So let me say:
- I let this universe enter my being when I breathe in.
- I surrender (let myself enter the world) when I breathe out.
Axel Ebert • February 2006
नम: (Sanskrit - Namaha)